When I Am Not Learning, No One is Learning

Things went dead in my classroom this week. Even my desire to write has been compromised and I've found myself with nothing to blog about which,  for a writer is ... uncomfortable.

This is particularly disconcerting because I have had much to write about over the past few months. This has been an exceptional year in my classroom.  First of all because I have an exceptional group of students, the kind that cross your path just a few times in a teaching career.  Second, because in my attempt to reinvent my teaching practice it has been a year of discovery and wonder - thanks in large part to a global group of educators who have helped point me in the right direction.

Why has it fizzled?  This question has been plaguing me all week, but I think I finally have a handle on the problem. What I know about teaching and learning has crashed head on into provincial needs to assess skill levels of students.  EQAO has become a determining factor as I recognize I must now focus on teaching test writing skills.  The deadline is looming and whether teachers admit it or not, we teach to the test because when those test results come out in the fall, it is upon the grade 3 and 6 language and math teachers of Ontario that the burden lies.

And yet, there are still so many interesting and rich ideas to pursue that I now must drop in order to prepare my students for the test.  This is painful for a teacher. Knowing that this deadline is looming, I have floundered while attempting to prioritize and see my way forward.

Added to this, technology has been uncooperative and downright spiteful. Documentaries from Learn 360 that we used to be able to download, can now only be streamed. Thirty seconds of video followed by fifteen seconds of pause, while the voices continue do not a rich learning moment make.  I've had to drop many of the technology-based activities that I had planned on pursuing because they are not directly relevant to the 'test'.  There hasn't been a focus to what I have been attempting to accomplish and I've been unable to  balance competing interests.

Uncertain how to proceed, I have fallen back on old habits.  I've pulled out activities from previous years and begun a teacher directed program.  I keep thinking back to Marshall McLuhan's "the medium is the message".  In this case, the medium is the test, and the message is, "Be quiet and follow instructions."  Which is not necessarily a bad thing.  Following instructions is a life skill.  I've broken too many appliances trying to just figure them out rather than read instructions to deny the value of  this. Taking time for quiet focused test practice is in some ways a pleasant change.

All of the above is just the back channel however, as I've realized that the real reason why my classroom went dead is that I haven't learned anything new this week. I've attempted to rely on and assign activities that were developed for students in a previous year rather than continuing to let my students lead the learning. I've committed the pedagogical crime of pseudo-teaching and as a result my students have been engaged in pseudo-learning. They've jumped through a few hoops in order to please me rather than  being actively engaged in real learning. I've relied on what I already know rather than being passionately excited by something new.  We've all just been going through the motions; we've been playing "school".

And the sad truth is that when I am not learning, none of my students are learning. It is as simple as that.  School becomes dull. Lifeless. Meaningless. And it was reflected in my students reactions. We were back in traditional teacher mode: assigned seats, teacher directed lessons. Because I have amazing students they took it in stride and completed what I asked them to complete, but it was not done with enthusiasm. I could feel their resistance and the beginnings of resentment.  And I can't say that I blame them.